i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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