The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
