I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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