he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
