I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize