i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
