Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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