Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
3pm strippers are depressing
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
