i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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