I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
