fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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