Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I could make wine with my vomit
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize