Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You are the jesus of drinking
i now understand why vodka
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
