Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
