they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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