She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
