dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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