K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I could fuck to npr.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
