Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.