That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
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Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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