it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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