the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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