Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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