Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
