____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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