but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
