I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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