We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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