Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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