I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
im holly from the hills drunk
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize