I seem to have left my pride at pride
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
about cumming, not toast
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".