my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.