i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize