you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
