"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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