a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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