i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Two words: blizzard sex
I need a hoe opinion
go on
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
