i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize