I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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