mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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