How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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