dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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