Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
