I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
