garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
