I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
you never un-have a 4some
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize