I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
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We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
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Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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