My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
