i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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