...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
