I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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