Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Even my vagina gasped.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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