Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
