What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
