I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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