I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
