Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
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He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
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Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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