i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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