i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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