Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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