just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
